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  • 子文:她在山巔俯瞰拉薩——悼念作家央珍

    這兩天,北京的天空出奇地藍。

    當然,西藏的天空更藍。我辦公室桌子對面的墻上懸掛著一幅拉薩全景攝影圖片,拍攝者是誰?無從得知。從拍攝地點看,是在拉薩城南面的宗贊山。圖片里,拉薩湛藍的天空浮著一團團白云,白云低垂,在山巔和清澈的拉薩河留下大片陰影。

    藍天讓我想起了作家央珍。

    一個月前,也就是10月13日早上,先是看到朋友圈一條微信,很短:那個出色的西藏女作家、《無性別的神》的作者央珍走了。

    我吃驚也感到震驚。立馬給金志國和馮良發信息求證,他們都是在西藏成名的作家,與央珍是朋友。稍后,金和馮良先后來電話,低沉地嘆息:央珍在12日走了,我們剛離開她的住所。

    下午,我趕到北京北四環的藏學研究中心。幾個藏族同事在央珍住宅的窗戶外煨著桑。灰煙從一個小陶罐里裊裊散開。

    那天,天也很藍,但稍有風。

    進了門,高出我一頭的龍冬咧了咧嘴,抽泣道:“我想哭!”我拍拍他的背說:“哭吧,我們都想哭!”龍冬抱著我大哭起來。旁邊一個女性(央珍北大的同學)說:“他終于哭出來了。”從拉薩趕來的央珍的弟弟也在房間,看得出,他傷心欲絕,魁梧的男子,坐在那里沒有言語,不時抹著淚。

    央珍和龍冬在當年的拉薩,絕對是才子佳人。

    記得1991年的一天,拉薩陽光燦爛。我在群藝館附近的街道碰見熊耀東(龍冬是他后來的筆名),他騎著一輛吱吱嘎嘎的自行車。見我招呼,他把腳支在路沿上,大聲地對我說:“我戀愛了,我要和央珍結婚了!”他臉上喜氣洋洋,我祝賀他:“你這北京的浪子,把拉薩文聯大院的女神接走了。”

    央珍集美麗、善良、溫和、才學于一身,有人評價她修養好、有文化,是拉薩真正有貴族氣質的女性,我深以為然。

    1985年,央珍從北京大學中文系畢業。回到拉薩以后,她很快進入文學創作的狀態,發表作品,并且在此之后很長時間,都是最好的藏族女作家。

    上世紀80年代中期到90年代前后的十余年,拉薩是很多中國文人的集散地。有的居住于此,有的時不時來西藏旅游、采風、訪友。當然免不了要來拉薩。來來往往最多的是拉薩氣候最好的夏季,我們當地人稱之為“蝗蟲季節”。知名詩人、小說家、文學編輯頻繁來藏,可以說對西藏文學的繁榮起到了強勁的推動和催化作用。

    央珍第一篇作品我記不得了。但我記得她的《無性別的神》。最初這是一篇短篇小說,發在《西藏文學》1988年第5期。之所以記得這么清楚,是因為我的短篇小說《再回摩浪》也忝列此期。后來,央珍將《無性別的神》擴充為長篇,獲得了全國少數民族文學創作“駿馬獎”,這也是藏族文學史上第一部由女性完成的長篇小說。再后來拍了20集電視連續劇《西藏往事》。此劇在拉薩熱播,有評論家譽為“這是一部西藏的紅樓夢”。的確,這是央珍最好的一部小說,她觀察描寫藏族女性十分細膩,故事娓娓道來,讀著她的小說,能從字里行間嗅到大院的氣息,能聽到嘆息聲、腳步聲,以及太太腰間那串鑰匙碰撞的金屬聲。我記得,但凡涉及西藏小說的集子,都要收入《無性別的神》。比如1989年出版的《西藏新小說》,1998年出版的《聆聽西藏——以小說的方式》,2017年《西藏文學》創刊40周年作品回顧展等,都收入了央珍這篇小說《無性別的神》。

    除了女性對生活細微的感受,可能還有居住北京對西藏高原故鄉揮之不去的思念。央珍的作品總有一種淡淡的憂傷。前年她在《西藏文學》發了兩則散文,其中一篇開頭這樣寫道:

    昨晚,我又夢見了自己的家,夢見了赤江拉讓。走進這所宅院,仿佛受到某種魔力的推動,疲憊的身體變得輕盈起來,眼前的景致顯現出美妙溫馨。我聞到院子里井水和陽光的味道,還聽到從洞開的窗戶飄來的喃喃誦經聲。由桑煙形成的卷云在院子上空幽幽漂浮。一顆迷茫、憂傷的心,隨即生出無限的喜悅和安詳。

    央珍小時候生活在拉薩八廓街一個大院里。那是舊西藏一個大活佛的宅院。八廓街有不少這樣的院落,四面是三層樓房,回廊面向院子,院子中央是一口水井,井旁一般有一個鐵皮桶,供大家提水用。我小時候在八廓南街的大院居住過,在拉薩時間久了,也會些藏語口語,時不時也拽上幾句。有幾次,央珍贊許地對龍冬及其他朋友說:“老劉那藏語地道,有一次他打電話來家里,我媽媽聽了幾句,叫我,有個康巴人找你!”說來慚愧,我的藏語水平很差,只會日常的一些對話,那次給她家打電話,正好是我從藏東采訪回拉薩,學了一些康巴口語,想不到竟唬到她媽媽了。

    央珍不僅是好作家,也是一位盡職的編輯。她當《西藏文學》副主編期間,約過我兩篇小說。一篇是中篇小說,我本想發在內地一家刊物。因為寫到一位西藏的貴族女性,我請她看看,她看后輕聲細語回我話:“你這篇小說還可以,我覺得應該首發在西藏。”我沒法拒絕。另一篇短篇是我主動與她說起。記不得在什么場合,她說編輯部這時間小說作品短缺。我說我剛寫完一篇,但感覺一般。她馬上說,給我們《西藏文學》,發頭條。我說,你還沒看呢。她說,我相信你小說的質量。

    央珍在北京《中國藏學》雜志社任職時, 我給她投過稿,是一篇所謂的論文。不幾天,她回電話:沒想到你還能寫藏學方面的論文。這篇文章雖然理論性不強,但內容豐富,文字有特點,不像其他論文,我推薦刊發。

    央珍內向,龍冬外向。龍冬喝酒抽煙她從不干涉。在北京的幾個朋友相聚,如黃賓堂、顧建平、邢春、朱明德、駱軍等,談起文學,談起朋友,有時龍冬說話聲音大了,爭執起來,央珍只要輕語一聲:小熊……龍冬立馬就會安靜下來。

    在文學創作上,央珍起步早,龍冬起步晚。龍冬也想常居拉薩,并作了嘗試,但他身體適應不了高原,不得不回北京。為了夫君,央珍跟隨到內地,也在北京生活工作。遺憾的是,這以后她鮮有創作,把精力多用在編雜志上了。我們也問及過她的創作,希望她有更多的作品,她只是微笑著點點頭。

    記得1991年,《收獲》的編輯程永新和作家格非夫婦聯袂來西藏。我約他們去哲蚌寺,永新說想見見《無性別的神》的作者,我就請央珍做向導。記得那天央珍著一身藏裙,帶著一個裝滿酥油茶的五磅暖水瓶,一個細竹編食盒,扁圓形,里面是精美餅干。我感慨她的細心和周到。順著山路到寺院,我記得她除了談拉薩的風土人情,主要的話題就是文學創作。

    在記憶里,拉薩四季都是藍天高照,是一座名副其實的“日光城”。城區的建筑不斷膨脹,但市郊仍有大片的濕地、草灘、樹林和麥田。拉薩地處一條狹長的河谷,南北相擁的山巒,連綿起伏,當地人傳說呈現藏傳佛教的八寶吉祥相。北面山形如勝利幢、法輪、寶傘、蓮花。河汊眾多的拉薩河,藏語稱“吉曲”(幸福河)由東向西蜿蜒流淌,河的南岸,山形如寶瓶、海螺、對魚、吉祥結。每逢新年,拉薩的居民大多要去拉薩河大橋南岸的寶瓶山插風馬旗樹枝,煨桑煙。站在山頂,山風呼呼,經幡獵獵,拉薩河谷盡收眼底。

    龍冬對我說過,央珍經常談到要回拉薩。她甚至說,死了以后也要把她的骨灰帶回拉薩,就放置到拉薩河南岸的寶瓶山上。

    “拉薩的一切我與生俱來。”央珍這句話當時我印象很深。現在她走了,魂歸雪域高原,更覺得這句話有著震撼心靈的力量!

    戴著眼鏡的央珍,總是淺淺地笑著。

    我想,現在她就在高高的山巔俯瞰著拉薩。

    刊于《文藝報》2017年11月22日

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